October 2011
1 post
September 2011
1 post
Alone.
Here in my room, just thinking and writing my thoughts out. Saw my baby today, which undoubtedly, is the best thing. Missing something in my life, or am I? Is it love that I’m missing? But, what is love? I don’t know what that is. And, if it is, what I think it is- I don’t want it! Get it away! I doubt I’m wife material, I’m too damaged; or I’ve been...
August 2011
4 posts
10:30am
Waiting for 10:30am to get my fafsa filled out and up and running- photography school, you see. I’m so looking forward to something that’s been in seclusion for a very, very long time. I have got to, and want to do this. That reminds me: get laundry done. My pants and shirts look as bad as they smell.
Scared.
I’m so scared right now, but I left! This time-there won’t be a next time! I’m doing this for my son and myself. I don’t have a place to call my own, but I will definitely be fine. God definitely carries me everywhere! And that is for certain. I’m not scared! I’m just nervous.
In from work and very tired. Need a cup of coffee- exhausted! Wanted to hang out today, but I guess my friend is just not up to it. I really wanted to get out and unwind. Guess that’s not gonna happen.
July 2011
6 posts
Feeling weird today, like any other day, I guess. Not comfortable in my own skin, but I know why. I wish I felt different. I wish you felt me. Then you would understand.
Photography.
I need to start working on this art of mine. I would, more than anything, attend svu, but how- when? I have no time. I wouldn’t mind taking an online photography course, still waiting on the information I requested. I need to start working on a photography portfolio. What I need is a camera. A good camera.
Tuesday.
Aahh! Tuesday! This is what I call my staycation. This is the only day I get to stay home from work and do what i feel like doing. I get to plan and figure out what needs to be done for my three ventures. What are my three ventures? Writing, photography and my upcoming business. I’m so happy right now. I don’t have much, but what I do have is what’s important. I thank...
Stressing and struggling.
I am having such a hard time right now. Part time hustle is not the shit, but it’s the only thing I have right now. I was offered a job today, but I don’t know the details yet. I have to call Daniel tomorrow and see what it is. I hope it has nothing to do with selling. U couldn’t sell water to a well- seriously. Well, I am definitely calling Daniel tomorrow, to discuss...
June 2011
9 posts
Erased him.
I erased him. Took him off my fb. It’s childish, I know, but I felt hurt. He called me by a different name- something unpresidented. I didn’t expect that. It killed me. I want him, seriously do “0(. But he wants her. Why else would he have called me by her name? No other reason, but that one. I can’t just- not want him. I feel him, I think him. I’m...
Tight.
I’m tight right now! How is it that my eye candy called me by another girls name?! Yep! Issue is muerto! Out of sight- out of mind! We don’t talk- now, even less! Fuck a nigga! I’m destroyed. If looks could kill, he’d be dead! Now- he’s out of my system! Screw u!! U ugly anyway?
2:00am
Still up watching that 70’s show. Just thinking about random stuff, and him- RM. Thinking that, he goes online, doesn’t even acknowledge that I’m on- not even to day hello! Fuck him! That’s why, I’m not even stressing him!
Bipolar.
This is just random, but I have to let it out. I hate when I feel this way and today is that day. Am I pushing the right people away, or just the ones that deserve it? I know I have an issue, but it’s my issue. No meds- please!
RM
Why do I do the things I do? I mean, seriously. He is so much younger than me, but what a catch he would be. Virgo and Scorpio, what a pair we would make. We work together and because he works there, my whole day is a breeze. He’s gonna be twenty- one and I’m a mere thirty-eight. He doesn’t even know I exist. He’s a beast- if you ask me, and his smile is, amazing. ...
Day off.
Today was my day off and all I did was absolutely nothing! Might go and watch Hawthorne with the ladies, or just stay here and give in to P’s insecurities. Either way, I’ll still feel miserable. I’ve been miserable since last night. Haven’t been feeling like myself lately, but today was the icing. Freakin’ landscapers with their gasoline filled- handheld- power...
“True grit 4 life!”
– ITS
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